21 years ago my mother had me. It's amazing how they had no idea I
was coming a year before that. I wasn't even thought of. 21 never seemed
like a big deal to me. But today it is.
I feel loved and set apart. Like this is my day and everything is going to be alright, because God has me.
I am actually happy and excited.
and Trying to let go of all the worries, and fears.
I
was not one of those children that wanted to be an adult already, I
wasn't drinking and going out a lot before I was legal, and thankfully, I
have learned how to find my fun elsewhere. So I never thought "21 will
be the year I can finally.... "
I wanted to stay young,
( I know I'm still young) but now I am at that age where things can
either start getting really tough and complicated, or totally amazing
and worth every step. Hopefully it is both.
IDK
where I am heading yet, what my purpose is in life, who I am meant to
be, who I will marry, nor what I want to do with myself, but I do know
that my life is precious.
As I walked to work this morning I was thinking of the understanding that I do have.
I
understand the love of God. That is the best thing I could ever ask
for. I know that I wasn't pure coincidence, nor a product of chance. I
am a product of desire, chosen and created by a God that loved me and
knew me before anyone even thought of me. I have value and purpose, I am
a princess because I am the daughter of a king, the most high king.
And I have always been treated like a princess by God. Like a delicate rose.
It is amazing and I am so thankful for his love and the joy that he has kept in my life.
This
all may seem basic, but 21 years ago I had little to no knowledge of
anything. A touch, a smile, or a look made my days joyful as a child.
And
now 21 years later I know the most important thing that I could ever
know. The thing that I wish everyone Knew and believed; that we are all
loved, cherished, and called by God, the greatest father, the greatest
example and the greatest love story ever told.
I wouldn't give that up for the world.
Happy Birthday to ME and I know everything is going to be better than okay.
Dear God, God forgive me of my sins. I believe in my heart that Jesus died and rose again for my sins. I surrender to you God, I want to know you more. Lord have your way in me. ... In Jesus name, Amen!
Confess with you mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross and rose again for our sins so that we may have eternal life.
God I need you to be with me through all of this. I am afraid. I am feeling a lot of pain and confusion God. But I know you have everything under control, and I know that you love me. I know that whatever I am going through you can use for your glory.
Let your will be done.
Have my heart God, you will be my refuge, my helper, my peace, my love, my protector, my father, my God.
I do not need anyone else but you God.
Lord I need you.
People come and go, times change, we grow and things are frightening. I am so scared of being alone, I am scared of things around me changing beyond recognition, to the point where I have no one close to me. But in those moments Jesus remind me that I am never alone. I know that you are with me.
I do not need anyone else but you God.
Lord I need you.
I loved my 1st college, It was a Christian Private school, and they were a great community of people. I made friends there, and learned a lot of things. It was definitely a blessing at a time where I was totally clueless, and thought no college would ever accept me.
I've always had an issue with failure, I don't like to fail. Applying to private colleges there was always a chance of no one choosing me, and it felt like setting myself up for failure.
(Even though I have been an honor student since elementary)
That always played a role when it came to applying to schools. The other part of the problem when applying was procrastination. I never applied to middle school, they chose me, high school, they chose me, and college, well they chose me also. I had to fill out an application, but I was pretty much guaranteed the position. It was an awesome feeling because I had heard great things about this college, and I wanted to be in there.
It was beautiful, the classes were awesome and I did learn alot, they also had church services and prayer so it helped me in my faith.
But I had an issue that quickly became a problem, Tuition. It should have been explained a little better to me, and I should have prayed about it more before making a decision to get into the school. Unfortunately, I had to transfer because it was too expensive for me. I totally loved the classes and the people, and the praying, christian community that the school had, but why did it have to be soo expensive?.
So now here I am 2 years later paying tuition. My loans interest charges going up by the month, and a loan under my mothers name, which might mess with her credit if I don't pay it soon. BAD
While in the school, I commuted, paying metro card fees, paying for expensive books, and I had to have extra classes that were required for the private school, which were not part of my major. Those credits did not transfer when I transferred. Out of my 31 credits only 15 were accepted. The school had mostly adults, and I wanted to be in a school with a lot of clubs, and extracurricular activities, and they were lacking that. Now I am in a community college and in that college I got accepted into a program that gives me monthly metro cards, pays for my books, and pays for whatever financial aid does not pay. It is so much of a blessing. I am in a dance club, and a bible study club.
So was it worth going to the other school? I am not sure. A great experience? Yes it was. Would I do it again? uhhh probably, but then want to transfer again.
I hate owing money, so now that I am in another college, and practically in it for free, I am trying to pay everything off. I do not want to have to deal with this after I graduate. I didn't know that so much was accumulating, and how real it is to have a loan that is due for payments.
So, yea today I am proud of myself.
I tackled part of my tuition! (insert balloons here) 1 down 2 more to go.
I paid my school the full amount, and now I can get my Official Transcript :) I still have loans for the state that need to be paid, but are currently on forbearance.
Ladies and gentleman, please be very well informed before entering a school. Have a plan, and do not just go for the shiny parts of the school because you can get those first few core classes anywhere. Like an alternate, cheaper, community school where you can finish the core classes, and then transfer to whatever school you want to complete your major. If you'd rather go to the private school first, then do some research on scholarships, and programs that you might qualify for.
Need help getting up to exercise?
Maybe you don't exercise regularly but you know you should. Or maybe you're having a low day and not feeling the energy.
If you want to feel amazing, a healthy glow, a flat stomach, skinnier legs, and awesome energy you have to exercise and eat healthy.
Forget about diets, they hardly work, get a lifestyle that will last.
CONTROL YOUR HEALTH, DO NOT LET YOUR HEALTH CONTROL YOU.
SO EXERCISING? Just get it done. Find some inspiring videos if you have to, read more blogs or medical studies, but nothing will make up for getting up and exercising. It may not be easy, but it will become easier, as it becomes a habit. Our society is totally unhealthy and unfortunately I am on that end of the spectrum. I have decided to make a change. I have definitely tried before to start a healthy journey, but I get sidetracked because It seemed so hard. Finding healthy food is tough around where I live, and they are expensive. For exercise? I consider my travel to school on the NYC transit system a exercise. I'm usually going out early in the morning so I have no time for a jog, and when I come home it's too late to go out plus I am tired.
But what I have learned is that when you really want to do something, you find a way. So.. Find a way.
The desire has to come from within, and we have to be our own motivation to start and continue a healthy journey.
We have unlimited amounts of fast foods, but then the healthy foods are hard to find -_- . hmmm I wonder why most of the population is overweight.
HAVE SOME SELF CONTROL PLEASE.
We need to start taking control of our own bodies, and taking matters into our own hands. THAT'S HOW WE ACHIEVE ANYTHING IN LIFE.
These are a couple of videos that motivated me soooo much. I just have to get it done.
My goal: Get fit, stay fit. The healthy way.
My steps to health?
1) I have joined a dance club at my college. They are pretty awesome, non judgmental, and I feel great dancing with them. I have have a family that loves to dance, so I have danced at parties, and I have taken dance lessons before when I was younger so I am okay at dancing. I have two issues though, I have a hard time remembering the moves right away. While everyone is already doing them, I have to go home and practice them so that I can come next practice ready to move. But I know with practice it will get easier, And I need to be confident in the moves, adding some attitude.
2) Eating smaller portions. Our stomach is only as big as a balled up fist. So a lot of the things we eat are too much for us, and we don't even know it. Of course our bodies are going to stretch if we feed it more than enough. Eat the amount you need, other than that, It becomes gluttony.
3) Incorporated Jogging again. I will take up jogging again, I love the way it feels after you have been jogging consistently for a few days. just starting, it is a pain, but over time, it becomes an obsession, and I can't wait. I have gone out already with my nephew and niece, and just jogged around a large court at a park about 10 times.
4) Health isn't only about your weight, there is also inner, and outer health.
Inner health: I am reading the Bible, praying more frequently, spending time with God. I am also learning to love myself the way I am, to accept everything about myself, including defaults. I am trying to have more self control, self motivation, and self love, and acceptance. Following the commandment " Love thy neighbor" It isn't easy, but it is one of the most important ones! God says so.
Outer health: Also translated as outer beauty. Taking care of my appearance, my body, skin, and hair. I have developed a new hobby, Make up. I am loving it. I don't use make up, I hardly wear lip gloss, but I have become fascinated with make up and the colors, and variations. I bought make up brushes, eyeliners, mascara, lipstick, and eye shadows. And I have been playing around with make up :).
I also just got bangs. They frame my face beautifully, but I am still not used to them. They make my forehead itch, and they feel like curtains. I got a relaxer on m hair, IDK why but I did. I like the way it looks, but I miss my curls, and I have to be extra careful with relaxed hair. I am even afraid to get into a pool this summer.
As I start felling better, I start to look better. I went shopping for shoes and clothing, and think I have been looking real cute these past few days.
One thing I had to realize was that I have to be healthy, for me, not for anyone else, and I have to love myself for me, and what I wear doesn't have to look good to anyone but me. If I like it, then I wear it. If I have something to say, then say it because my words matter. They matter to me. Confidence ;)
Thank you Jesus, for my mother. Today is not mother's day yet, but I would like to take this day, tomorrow, and every other day to honor her. Mother's day shouldn't be the only day to show love to our mothers. They are not all perfect but I can't imagine not having the love of a mother, and I can't imagine my life without being by my mothers side. She has been my strength, my encouragement, my heart, she taught me how to dream, how to love, and how to treat others kindly.
My mother is a great woman. She raised four smart, amazing girls all on her own in rough parts of New York City, until I was born and my Dad came around and raised me with her.
There's nothing she had to do for me to love her, It's unconditional. She never graduated from high school, she doesn't work, we don't live in a house, she's just a full time mom, and that's enough to love her, she gave us a lot of love, care and attention.
So I just wanted to take this time to appreciate my mother, and thank God for her. I also pray that all mothers who had the courage to raise their kids and took up that full time job, begin to feel appreciated, loved, and honored more.
The same goes for fathers also by the way. Some people may not have their mother in their life anymore, and their father was their mother, so take mothers day as a day to honor your father as well. They deserve it. Watch this awesome video about mothers:
